Happy Polar Vortex Week to everyone down there in the Lower 48. Yup Yup, it’s good to see all of you swooning down there, spinning around and chatting how hard it is to survive your little cold spell. I know these are tough times for you, and while I could be screaming ‘suck it up’ and tell you ‘Now you know what Alaska always gets’, I just thought I would says … well … Suck it Up, because Now you know what Alaska always gets!
Ok … Ok … maybe I shouldn’t be a jerk about all this. But maybe its because for the last 18 months, anytime I complain about the weather, y’all flood me with “its warmer here, its not raining here, I am better than you, jackass”. Finally I get a little revenge! This past week, warm Pacific air pushed temps in Anchorage up to 37°F — which was in some cases 20 to 30 degrees warmer than some of you down there. At work during a call on Monday to our Global Team, we found out Houston Texas (18°F) was significantly colder than Anchorage (30°F). Even parts of Wisconsin were below zero conditions on the North Slope this week.
But seriously, that’s the thing … come next week, y’all will go back to your 30s, 40s, 70s — and we will be getting what we got this week. As you will be wondering how anyone can function at -20°F, Prudhoe Bay will be business as usual at -40°F.
By the way – Don’t give me that “we are tough in these conditions” junk. I wanted your posts out there in you upper Midwest states. You can see it progress as the vortex lingered:
Day 1: “In Florida they call it a blizzard, in (State that Begins with M) we call it the weekend”
Day 2: “I’m taking a selfie of me with a snow shovel because its new and different”
Day 3: “Come to (M-State) for the Beauty, Stay because your car won’t start”
Day 4: “I don’t care if schools are open yet, I need these kids out of the house!”
Day 5: “Seriously? They haven’t plowed the Starbucks yet?”
Day 6: “Florida Sounds Really Good Now”
In short, I am glad y’all are having your little excursion into the world of actually getting a winter wonderland — but when it all melts over the weekend, don’t make a stink because we get another 20-30 inches here.
**PS — All in jest kiddies. Glad to see that you all played it safe, hunkered down, and made it through that mess. Winter weather is dangerous, and you had me worried there for a bit, but glad most of you come out of it with only complaints and pictures.