For those of you know knew me well over the last three years, you may know the big story before my move to Alaska was the weight loss program I was on. I had lost over 200lbs, and for the months before the move I was in a fight to maintain that loss. Most who know me directly these days may not be aware of that, because they are likely seeing the opposite.
Truth is, I have put on alot of weight since coming to Alaska. While it’s not the full return to where I was before the big weight loss, its enough. Those of you who knew me before the move will notice, you would be blind not to, and likely you wouldn’t have known if I didn’t tell you here. 40 years of weight problems means I know how to avoid the issue, especially with those who don’t see me every day. There are fewer pictures taken with me in it, fewer photos used from recent history, finding those right places to stand so not to be seen – I’m an expert on those things.
There are alot of reasons I can point to. One is a job in Alaska that is way way more sitting at a desk. Harder to find fresh food in stores makes cooking at home either more unhealthy or less likely to happen. The great beer here, the great restaurants, and the bad habits I find myself doing with letting those into my diet. The dog keeping me from tricks to make workouts a routine, and workouts with the dog becoming ineffective. There are as many reasons as there are excuses. In all honesty, though, my weight problems are more than the standard “you eat too much, you don’t exercise enough” though that is the direct cause. The fact that I feel that I have to “confess” to gaining weight should be proof of that. The fact that I needed a hospital based program to actually be successful is proof of it too.
Don’t consider this a sign of me giving up though. I need to make changes, and that means the simple things. Change what I can change, seek help for the things I can’t. This is actually the first step … the first step is always admitting you have a problem, and while I have admitted it to myself its time I become accountable to y’all as well.
So put up with the fact you won’t see many pictures of me, at least not without a fight, unless I can start winning this battle again. Put up with the complaints, the confessions, the other junk … because that’s just what happens. 40 years of weight problems, I know that this is what happens.